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Lawrence Summers and his quest for escape velocity

February 11, 2013

Lawrence Summers dons the hat of a rocket scientist today and boldly steps forth with a four step plan to “propel the economy to its ‘escape velocity’”.  Unfortunately for him and his Harvard based school of orbital rocketry, there’s a two-fold problem.  First, the escape velocity is far greater than their old theories recognize and, second, they can’t, for religious reasons, utilize the only fuel capable of getting the job done.

Summers’ calculation of the escape velocity is seriously flawed in that it’s based on very old medieval texts that ignore the reality of the world.  The sad result has therefore been that no economic space ship in history has ever successfully reached escape velocity.  He and his fellow scientists endlessly tweak their fuel formulas and regularly come forth with multi step adjustments, but the result is always the same: a fiery return to earth.

Modern research, it turns out, has determined that the escape velocity is far higher than ancient theories suggest and this is primarily due to the overbearing gravitational mass arising from the dark matter fields of oligarchy and profit.  These ever constant forces overwhelm every orthodox fuel formula and eventually pull all economic ships back to their demise.  No ship has ever successfully countered this overbearing force and the failure goes back centuries.  It’s abundantly clear by this time that no fuel based on the profit formula can overcome it.

Yet despite having not one successful launch to their credit, the center-left technicians continue along the same beaten path.  Failure has become so psychologically ingrained in these scientists, they delight if an economic ship can remain off the ground for even a few short years.  We see this pattern in today’s article as Summers reflects on the failed launch of the mid 1990’s: “The economy could soon (with his new modified fuel formula discussed below) enter a virtuous cycle of confidence, growth, and deficit reduction, much as it did in the 1990’s.”  As we recall, that economic ship catastrophically crashed in 2000.

There is a fuel, however, that would theoretically allow for full orbital success; but, sadly, it can’t be used due to religious belief.  The fuel isn’t based on the profit formula and therefore doesn’t require unending profit to keep burning.  It’s based instead on a straightforward public spending / fiat money creation formula which, while never having been tried, should work based on a wide base of theoretical research.  The key insight is that it completely bypasses the oligarchic force, rendering it impotent.  Religious dogma strongly condemns this fuel for being evilly “unorthodox” and the choir adamantly insists that no fuel could possibly burn without being firmly grounded in the profit formula.  The center-left scientists will never stray beyond the safe confines of orthodoxy.

So, we sadly standby and watch the countdown as Summers’ Harvard rocket team prepares for a new launch based on his following four step fuel modification plan as set forth in the article:

1)      Spread the upcoming “sequester” over a longer period of time and don’t further slash military or civilian spending.

2)      Address corporate tax reform.

3)      Force Freddie Mac and Fannie Mae to liberalize their lending criteria.

4)      Approve the Keystone pipeline and expand natural gas exploitation.

This then is the latest fuel formula recommendation from the Summers team.  While the inevitable failure of this blend is blatantly obvious to all who don’t share the faith, we can do little more than watch with amazement at how little changed our science is from the days of long ago.

From → Capitalism

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